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When Your Preteen Sings the Blues
Depression in Your Child
By Virginia Gilbert
"It used to be, a kid could get average grades, play kick-the-can, read a few books at the public library, and that would be good enough. Now being average has become stigmatized."
So says Dr. Abraham Havivi, a child psychiatrist in Los Angeles. Havivi believes the pressures of modern life have led to an increase in depression among children. Now, at the end of the 20th century, parents perceive that the gap between the "haves" and the "have-nots" is widening. Consequently, they try to ensure that their children will become part of the "haves" by urging kids to excel in the classroom, on the athletic field and in their social circles. Although parents have their children's best interests at heart, they may be unwittingly forcing kids to assume too much responsibility too soon.
Julie Drake, a former elementary school teacher who now works for the Los Angeles County Office of Education, adds that kids today have a lot more homework than their counterparts 10 or 20 years ago.
"It's not necessarily meaningful homework, plus they have dance lessons, sports lessons," says Drake. "There's not enough time to sit back and process the day's events."
Fifth-grade teacher Carmen Dean attributes the increase in childhood depression in part to our culture. "Boys are made to think they have to have a pretty babe, a big car, all this external stuff. Girls feel they have to live up to this impossible physical ideal, so immediately there's a sense of failure. It used to be 14- and 15-year-olds who were reacting to these messages. Now it's filtering down to the younger kids."
It's normal for a preteen's burgeoning hormones and increasing need for autonomy to cause mood swings. Dr. Havivi says parents shouldn't overreact if their children occasionally get down on themselves. According to Havivi, kids commonly suffer from "situational depression" -- frustrations stemming from problems with school pressures or with friends. This kind of slump is short-lived and usually will lift without intervention.
