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Home › Articles › Independence › Growing Up Too Fast

Growing Up Too Fast

Helping Your Preteen Transition from Child to Adult

By Ginny Hermann

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While today's moms and dads are trying everything from tummy tucks to the newest skin creams to revive that youthful glow, their kids are piling on makeup, sliding into tight clothes, experimenting with drugs and hanging out with older teens – all to feel older.

The youthful desire to appear more mature has been going on for years. Our parents dealt with long hair on boys, miniskirts on girls and the relentless thump of music cranked to deafening decibels. Today's parents fight nymphet "singers," adult-themed "cartoons," the "athletes" of the WWF and others who, like it or not, are taking their place as role models for our young. So what's a parent to do? Well, put down the Oil of Olay and let's look at why our children are growing up too fast and what we can do to reclaim our youth.

Stuck in the Middle
Every child, at one time or another, feels he is ready to make some choices on his own. According to Barbara Jessing, director of family service of Greater Omaha in Omaha, Neb., this desire for independence has both physical and emotional roots. "The age of puberty has inched downward in recent years with some girls experiencing physical changes as early as 9 or 10 years of age," she says. "These changes can be confusing to a youth who is beginning to look like an adult on the outside, but still feels very much like a child on the inside."

Throughout history, a girl was considered a woman when she began to experience menstruation, but today we know that growth comes in spurts with the pace of development going up and down like a seesaw.

"You'll see a child begging to wear makeup and going to concerts one minute, then playing with Barbies or G.I. Joes the next," Jessing says. This is classic adolescent behavior – the feeling of being stuck between childhood and adulthood – and it affects both boys and girls in varying degrees.

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