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Preteenagers Today's Health Advisory Panel Answers: Is there an appropriate way to help my 12-year-old son with his curiosity about the opposite sex? |
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Chris Crutcher Author Licensed Child and Family Therapist |
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Question: My 12-year-old son is getting curious about girls. I discovered this on the history of our Internet. Porn sites were showing up. When confronted, he apologized and said he was curious. He typed in female anatomy and got porn. He said it was disgusting. Is this normal, and is there an appropriate way to help him with his curiosity about the opposite sex? |
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Answer: It's so normal his picture should be beside "12-year-old boy" in the dictionary. And there are ways to help him with his curiosity. The biggest way is to be open in all discussions about sex – don't promote them, but don't shy away. Use your sense of humor. Talk about the POWER of it all. Talk about the consequences. Make sure he knows that his thoughts and curiosity are very normal, and point him toward responsible people who can talk about it. For example, it's hard for some kids (read most kids) to talk about sex across the sexes. In other words, if you're a guy, it's easier to talk to a guy, and if you're a girl, it's easier to talk to a girl. Make it normal and funny and informative, and never let there be a sense that something is wrong with erotic longing. Thought and desire are very different from behavior. |
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